How to market your car on craigslist

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Craigslist AD, Yes this is an actual article

How to market your car on Craigslist 

Below is an actual Craigslist ad forwarded to us by our of our long time customers.  This is an actual article and was not written by D&P or staff.  The original link can be found at http://denver.craigslist.org/cto/4193066471.html

 

55 Olds Rocket 88 – $11500 (Fort Collins)

 

1955 oldsmobile delta 88

Here’s the deal, kids:
This is a 1955 Olds Rocket 88. This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It is solid, has wind noise, and character. It’s a Hot Rod. It rides/drives like a Hot Rod. All of these are GOOD things. It is not new, it is not pristine, but it is from Co and it’s Cool!
If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU. If you have been posting on facebook about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU. If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU. If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bull**** job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU. If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU. If you consider the 2nd Amendment a relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL, this Hot Rod is for you. Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate? Have you ever uttered the words, “Hold my beer and watch this …”? While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, “I could hit that from here with the .22 …”? Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun? Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail? When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project? Is your ol’ lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage? -could you not care less? Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned? Do you still miss your first ride? ( mine was a ’70 Chevelle) Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks? Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars? Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?
If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: This is your kind of hot rod!
DETAILS:
-The badass little SBC 350 4 bolt main is bullet-proof and starts and runs like the proverbial champ. It has an edelbrock 750 carb. and Hooker fender well headers.
-Tranny is a Turbo 350 an operates perfectly . Runs cool, stops quick and turns heads! It’s set up as a “shine” runner…(the tail lights, brake lights and gauges can all be turned off independently) for quick get aways. New Front seat, fuel tank and paint (59 olds aquamarine/black satin). It has many custom hot rod features and it gets 16 MPG to boot!
This little jewel has been in many car shows including; Viva Las Vegas, Atwood Early Rod Run, Good Guys, Blue Light Special , Hot Rods and Harleys and more!QUESTIONS: -Why are you selling? I can’t justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, work, travel, and many other hot rod projects and beer have consumed my time and money. Someone else needs to appreciate the Olds for what it is: awesome American mechanical artistry.
-What’s wrong with it? Not a damn thing! Crank it up and drive it on a road trip! I have driven it to car shows and had a blast!
-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]? No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
-Would this make a good car for my son/daughter? Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
-Will you take a check / cashier’s check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
No.
-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]? That’s great, I don’t give a bleep. I want $12,00. Why? Because I don’t HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I’d rather keep it. But if it’s going to a good home – I will sell.
-Why are you such a dick? Everything is relative; you should see my friends.

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